Presence is the Present

Brene Brown writes today that: "Story Matters!" It is true that our stories matter. The experiences of our life have value. This morning I watched the CNN Student News with my son. We watch the news every morning. This morning they did a tribute to the victims of SandyHook Elementary.

I began crying after five minutes of the broadcast. Every few minutes the screen would go black and show a name and age. My crying became weeping when the number 6 kept flashing on the screen. My son looked over at me and said : "Mom are you crying?" My crying was unmistakeable. And he awkwardly put his arm around my shoulder, trying to comfort me! All I could say was: "your sister is 6!"

My story matters, last Friday I walked to the bus stop to wait for my 6 year old, kindergarten student to get off the bus. She bounced down the bus steps and handed me her backpack just like every other school day afternoon. I hugged her with renewed appreciation that God had spared my daughter and given me another day with her and her another day to be 6! Thank you God ! My prayers are with the family and friends of those lost last Friday at the SandyHook tragedy!

The Power of Presence

Webster's Dictionary defines Presence as "existing or being present in a place." During the Holiday Season we often become preoccupied with shopping for the perfect gift. It is easy to become consumed with giving and getting presents. This year my husband and I have come face to face with the reality of this tough economy. We have limited resources to buy presents. Over Thanksgiving break, we talked and talked about how to "do" Christmas on our new budget. After lots of long walks and talks my husband suggested something revolutionary. He said: "Why don't we give the gift of presence." At first I thought his suggestion was cheesy. I "tried it on" by sharing the idea with our Elementary age girls. They were very invested in receiving "furby's" so they were not so happy about the gift of "presence." But as the weeks have gone by we have become more and more creative as a family. Now everyone is catching on to the idea. In fact... my husband said for the first time in our 15 years of marriage: "I love Christmas." We are giving the gift of presence. When we talk to each other... we look in one another's eyes. We turn off our cell phones and watch Christmas movies together. We instituted: The Christmas Angel. The Christmas angel is watching as we are secret angels to each other. This Christmas - our presence is the present.

The Art of Gratitude

"Anxiety weighs down the heart but a kind word cheers us up." Proverbs 12:25 There is a lie that we often believe: "That my pain and suffering is pointless. There's no reason to talk about it. (Redemption, M. Wilkerson p.54)." Anxiety, worry and stress is part of everyday life. We live in a whirlwind of technology, information and opportunity. It is easy to get caught off guard by anxiety. This Holiday season try the following remedy on. See if it fits you? *Identify the thing (conversation, situation, event) that caused you anxiety, stress or worry. By identifying the feeling and connecting it to the stressor, you are validating your feelings. *Next pay attention to your physiological response to the stressor you identified above. For instance: Did you heart rate increase, did you get a pit in your stomach, did you feel butterflies." *Finally link your bodies response to the experience and NAME IT. For instance: I feel anxious because 20 people are coming to my house for dinner and my house isn't as clean as I had hoped. or I feel anxious because my family is coming together for the Holiday and I know that 1/2 of them voted for Obama and the other 1/2 voted for Romney. The power of naming your stressor and identifying your physiological response will help you overcome those pesky "out bursts" or times that you lose your cool. Anxiety can often move us from processing in our frontal cortex (the organizing, strategic part of our brain) to the limbic system (Fight, Flight or Freeze). By following the formula above it will reduce "out bursts" or the behaviors that do not fit with your value system. For instance: those times when you say "I didn't like the way I handled that." The final step is to turn your anxiety, stress or worry on its ear. *Take a moment to look at the positive side of your stress. For instance: I'm stressed about how my boss treated me in the last staff meeting and I'm grateful to have a job. The art of gratitude is the acknowledge and appreciate what you have received. For more information about identifying stressors: www.simplypyschology.org/SRRS.html

What is it time for?

The whirlwind will not end. We survived the election but will we survive the Holidays. There will always be one more thing to do, to get or to achieve. The whirlwind will never end. The question is... what is it time for? What do you want to do today? King Solomon teaches this in Ecclesiastes. “There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build. a time to weep and a time to laugh a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace, and a time to refrain, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time to war and a time for peace.” Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 What is it your time for? Time to embrace or time to be alone? Time to work or time to spend time with your family? Time to accomplish or time to rest? If God is inviting you to rest... do it! There is a time for everything and that includes having fun!

How do I know what I need?

My prayer request this week is: "Dear God, Help me figure out what I need, so that I can ask for it?" All week, I have struggled to figure out what I need. Thursday - I hosted prayer group, took my husband to lunch and then drove him to the airport. He left for Liberia, Africa and I picked up all the church and ministry responsibilities that he couldn't catch. Saturday - I changed my plans to go to my friends mom's funeral. Sunday - I preached at church, helped a friend learn how to use an application on the computer and then hosted my college roommate for dinner. Monday - I didn't make it to yoga, so I could rest. Instead, I went to the store to buy a ceramic heater and new insulated drapes and took a walk to call back all my missed calls. On the way home from my walk, I realized that I had cut out taking care of myself with yoga... to rest and then I didn't rest. So, Tuesday - I let the kids sleep in. I helped my daughter complete a difficult math assignment. I stole extra moments from the morning by skipping the bus and driving the girls to school. I sat with my son to listen before he got on the bus. Then I went to yoga. In the moment when my friend and yoga instructor - Linda - said "gather up your to do list and put it on hearts center." (Check out NewDayYogaandWellness.com) I listened, I breathed, and I asked myself: "What do I need?" I realized what I needed was a moment. Maybe a series of moment without my phone, without my computer, without my kids and husband. I prayed. I exhaled my "to do list." And God took it. My cheeks are still rosy. My thoughts were clearer while on my conference calls and now the writing and work I have to do next will need less editing and improving. I TOOK A MOMENT. May I give you permission to TAKE A MOMENT, STOP, AND GIVE YOUR "TO DO LIST" to God.

Who Am I? Part 2

"There is power in our story. Your story and my story are part of a greater story. the Bible tells the story of a people waiting to be delivered. Christ followers have the same journey as the Isrealites did, depicted in Genesis and Exodus. We follow the same pattern of forgiveness, redemption, erecting idols, then pulling them down and repenting before a Holy God." Excerpt from The Elijah Project www.touchedtwiceunited.org Yesterday I experienced a miracle in someone else that rippled over me. My friend had a few meetings scheduled with county agencies that promised to help her secure assistance to get back on her feet. I agreed to accompany her to the meetings. I am a non-violent, passive to a fault kind of person. My friend "puts up her dukes" at the first sign of conflict. The question: "Who am I?" was pallpable as we entered the social workers office to fill out the paperwork for assistance. I, for sure was the woman (previously) that belonged on the other side of the desk. In the past I was the woman with the answers, this time I was the one with all the questions. The day before yesterday, I was the woman comfortable, and then I found myself surrounded by people who had lost everything after choosing drugs or alcohol. I was uncomfortable. Who am I? I am lucky! Some would say, I am fortunate! Others would call me blessed. I can imagine myself as a Proverbs 31 woman because I had a mother and women in my life who chose education, faith, monogamy as an example. Yesterday, I was surrounded by women who had not experienced such a vision. Women who had felt so desperate they could only imagine numbing their pain with another hit or a drink, I was humbled. And then... after the miraculous county meetings, where my friend experienced grace and hope, I was told: "You were my liquid courage. Thank you for going with me today." My story intersected with her story and in the end... Jesus' story of forgiveness and redemption was clear. Who am I? I am a highly educated, gifted woman, given everything I could hope for or imagine with a loving husband and beautiful children. And the best gift of all, I was granted vision to see my story within God's Greatest Story ever told. Who am I? I am REDEEMED!

Who am I?

Have you ever asked yourself: "Who am I?" I have! I ask when I find myself in a mess like: Gossiping. Where I've talked about three different people and found myself in a pickle with the truth. There may be some truth in what I said but I was more interested in looking good myself rather than preserve the appearance of someone else. Today I am asking the question: "Who am I?" Where am I holding my stress, anxiety and frustration? What activities produce feelings like happiness, love and care. I am wondering what is on my heart. Well, to answer the questions honestly. I feel tempted to take things into my own hands. I am tempted to maintain my "rightness." I am tempted to focus on others faults rather than work on my own. For the rest of today... I desire to live in the moment I am in. I lit the candles in my kitchen. Cleared the clutter off my counter. Cleared my cardiac clutter by lifting my heart to God. I'm going to take a walk and talk with God. Saying out loud what he already knows: I am selfish, self-seeking and prideful. I know I am these things.... but God... Dear God.... I don't want to be this way.