Why do Golfers... GOLF?

My Dad is a golfer.   Growing up my dad golfed at least once a week.  He enjoys golfing!  Even the thought of it brings a smile to his face!  He is a senior now and a very good golfer. My Dad is religious about his golf and that paid off with an invite to the Sr. Olympic golf tournament in 2013.  My dad not only practices the sport of golf but golf itself for him is a practice of rest.

This morning I heard a radio talk show host poking fun at how many golf outings President Obama had taken during his presidency.  He quoted a number like 163 golf outings for President Obama vs. 26 for President Bush.  Then, he contrasted both recent presidents golf tallies to that of Woodrow Wilson.  President Wilson is credited for playing over 1500 golf games during his presidency. The radio announcer was shaming all of these GREAT men for the time they spent golfing.  He never looked at the converse that they comitted to take care of themselves.

Because I lived with a golfer for the first 20 years of my life, I know some things.  I know that "it never rains on a golf course."  I know that "its for the love of the game."  I know that "many meaningful conversations and even business deals happen on the golf course."  I also know, from walking the courses with my dad, that golf courses are mini sanctuaries.  They are quiet spaces that seem like a retreat from the world.

As I continue to explore the idea of REST, I am challenged to redefine it.   Rest is vitally important for not just one's body but for their soul.  If golf is your "thing" then taking time for rest and recreating should be celebrated.  Our Presidents literally have the "weight of the world" on their shoulders.  They need more time for rejuvenation.  Shaming someone for rest is wrong!

I imagine a culture that celebrates rest.  Just as God stopped on the 7th day to enjoy his creation.  We are commanded to stop and enjoy what is around us.  Who cares how we break up the rest - one whole day, 2 hours a day, one weekend a month of quiet, 9 holes of golf...  our different personalities have different needs.  Rest doesn't fit in a box.  There is more than one way to do it!  And remember:  Sabbath isn't a choice, it is a command.

"By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work.  The God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it he rested from all the work of creating that he had done."  Genesis 2:2-3

The Broom Tree and Sabbath

Tonight I have the opportunity to speak to a group of people about the second half of the Elijah Project.  We will focus on identifying our BroomTree activies and then carving out time to do them. 

A Broom Tree activity is anything that brings care to your soul.  It is time away from the daily grind that allows us to quiet our minds and refuel our souls.  Last week, I was feeling depleted, tapped out, and exhausted.  My thoughts were racing so fast I couldn't catch them or make them stop.  Gradually as the week progressed I carved out time to be alone.  I sat still and journalled.  I sat in my kitchen without music.  I drove in a quiet car.  And I felt my spirit unwind.

The week before, I had a house full of company.  There was no quiet to speak of.  With two "cold days" keeping kids home from school, my parents and extended family here... there was no solitude.  Sometimes circumstances just don't allow for a reprieve.  Life ebs and flows.  But, I have found comfort in giving myself permission to eb and flow with it.

So two weeks ago... life was crazy and I rolled iwth it.  Last week life slowed down and I slowed with it.  It is very important to give ourselves permission to be quiet when life allows.  Not fill up the dead space second with more "to do's".  Stillness is difficult because our mind does race and thoughts pressure us to move.  Rest is counter-intuitive but it is so healthy.

I find great nurture in the fact that God gives me permision to STOP.  He commands his followers to take a Sabbath every 7 days.  In the old days Sabbath was not working - in current times,

I think it means fasting from media (e-mail, facebook and texting).  Even good messaging requires brain power.  God says it is OK to POWER DOWN once a week.

Identify your Broom Tree - what is it and how can you make time to do that, go there or find it in the next few days?

My Comfort List

Wow... have you ever got to the point in a self-help book when you wanted to close slam the chapter shut?  Throw the book out the window?   Put the book on the bottom of your massive reading pile?

Today was the beginning of week 4 in my journaling workshop with Brene Brown.  I truly enjoy listening to Brene speak and as the words rolled off her tongue, I listened, engaged and became frustrated all at the same time.  This is really tough stuff.  This week we are differentiating between numbing and comforting ourselves.  The assignment was to do a series of collages... answering the following questions:

1.  What things trigger you to want to numb/comfort?
2.  What do you do to numb/comfort?
3.  What does comfort look like for you - create a comfort list.

I am doing this workshop with my husband, so I have built in accountability and he doesn't let me answer anything half way.  I guess doing anything like this with your spouse takes a filter and the ability to hide away.

So below you will see my journal entries.  They are not pretty!
I will break it down!

My biggest triggers!:
*Not having enough money.
*Feeling like there is too much pressing on my time, and that I am not enough.
*Feeling like I should earn more money.
*Fear!
*Feeling like I am unlucky or the risks I take don't pan out.

My top numbing activities!:
*Work harder.
*Run away - emotionally retreat inside myself, my house or even my bedroom.
*Over help others to make me feel better.
*Shop
*Over establish myself by being:  over-independent, controlling, defiant and angry.

How do I comfort myself?:
*I love to learn.
*I love to put my house in order and have my environment clean and neat.
*I love being with my family - just being!
*I love road trips - long rides, long talks, laughing, feeling heard.
*Creativity and breathing!

Self-Compassion

I am deep into the 3rd week of my on-line journaling class.  Wow, have I been challenged on many levels with looking deep into my behaviors, my history and my patterns.

This week we were tasked to find a picture of ourselves where we were "not doing well" and think of the things we wished we had said to "that person."  I really struggled to find a picture.  I found two pictures.  One when I was 18 months old.  I was surprised to see so much fear, shyness and unhappiness in my face and in my eyes as a young child.  Then I found another picture, of me as an adult, where I was looking over my shoulder.  Literally you could see the fear, question and an unsafe sense about me. 

When I answered the journaling question, "what would I say to myself back then," I said things like:

*Don't be afraid.
*You don't have to run away.
*God created you - beautiful (Ecclesiastes 13:11)
*Its OK to want to be protected.

My journaling activities have now settled down from my head to my heart.  Kristin Neff a professor from The University of Texas has created a self-compassion scale.  Self-Compassion.org.  I took the survey today and found that my self-compassion is pretty good.  But what I discovered about Christ centered-Self-compassion truly surprised me.

I've adapted Dr. Neff's three elements of self-compassion and had my eyes widened to the wisdom and value of God's word:

1.  Self-kindness:  God knew and implanted value in human beings when he said they were very good.  He designed us in His own image, to be completely LOVED by Him and then to share that LOVE with one another.
Christ says in three gospels:  "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.  Mark 12:30-31

2.   Common Humanity:  God knows that we are all struggling in this broken planet with hope of one day being rescued and restored.  "For we know that the whole creation groans and suffers the pains of childbirth together until now. And not only this, but also we ourselves, having the first fruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, waiting eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our body. For in hope we have been saved, but hope that is seen is not hope; for why does one also hope for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, with perseverance we wait eagerly for it.  Romans 18:18-25"

3.  Mindfulness:  Paul one of Christ's preachers wrote about bringing the mind into captivity.  He warned of the danger of allowing our thoughts to run in every direction.  "We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."  2 Corinthians 10:5

In my attempt to Live Christ's Compassion through me - I am choosing to assume the best not the worst of a situation and to believe that with God's strength and peace I can withstand when the worst comes!

The Elijah Project For Life....

Over the past year I have been teaching The Elijah Project in a bunch of different settings.  Every time I teach through an activity I participate in it myself.  What I have come to realize is that regular introspective work keeps me healthy.  Today, my husband (Perry) and I started an online art journalling class with Brene Brown.

I thought I would share my journal journey with you.  Today's assignment was to "give yourself permission."  It has actually been a great activity.  Perry and I spent the morning chatting about what we needed permission to say or do - for ourselves, in our marriage, as a parent, at church and at play.  When it finally got to the point of opening my art journal to write, draw and paint... this is came out.

... I CAN... share with you all my journey and hope that it sparks conversation.  What is it that you need to give yourself permission to do today?

But..... How Do I Stay in the Moment?

With another season of Elijah Project classes wrapping up... I have been contemplating the question:  "How do I stay in the moment when there is so much to get done for the future?"  This is a great question.  This is a real question.  This is a conundrum for me, the type A, over-achiever.

While taking a walk this week and literally experienced the answer.  As I walked along the sidewalk yellow, red and orange leaves crunched under my feet.  I gasped a little as I was overwhelmed with the Season changing.  My mind quickly rushed ahead into the future,  thinking of no leaves, snow covered ground and cold.  I spent a minute in the future.  As I continued to walk I began to sweat.  I became so warm that I took off my fleece sweatshirt.  The sun on my cheeks made me think of the summer.  My thoughts fleeted to the past: sun bathing at the pool.  I spent a minute in the past.  Then I thought - Today is beautiful.  Today is warm.  Today the leaves still remain on the trees and hte sun still hangs in the sky.  This moment is a gift!

How easy it is to backwards or to go forwards.  God invites us to be with Him this moment and enjoy TODAY!

LOVE!

My kids, my parents and myself are on a vacation in Lancaster, PA.  We are staying in a small hotel in the city of "Bird-in-Hand."  During our stay we have learned a lot about the Amish and Mennonite culture.  The last time I visited Lancaster, I was a sopho
more in High School.  I guess back then I didn't have an appreciation for a culture that values others more than the individual and emphasizes peace, love and contemplation.  The Amish people seek to look like Christ.  They de-emphasize themselves.  The honor the young and the old.  They treasure the land.  They care for one another.  And they don't do it because they are "so smart" ... they do it because they live by the principles Jesus left for us.  They live to look like Christ.

Riding through the hillsides of Pennsylvania, admiring gardens, hand made barns and quilts brought a penetrating peace.  I realized that I worry about myself and my needs way too much.  I'm reading a book called:  "If You Bite & Devour One Another."  Today while my kids splashed in the pool and the local Amish farmer was watering his field by horse and buggy, I read the amazing words of Paul the Apostle.  He wrote the following to the Corinthians:  "Love is patient and kind;  love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude.  It does not insist on its own way;  it is not irritable or resentful;  it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.  Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."  I Cor. 13:4-7

The Amish dress differently and have separated themselves from the culture around them.  They look different and they live by the simple principle:  Love God and Love others.  Living this way we find ourselves in a spirit of love and peace.  We are more centered and contemplative and value community.  God's way truly change the way we live.  We treat others differently and in turn we look different in the world around us.  I may not wear Amish garb, but I desire to live in peace and love with those around me.  I pray that my "inner" light would shine through my English dress.