The Elijah Project #4: Safe People

Who has my ear? I have been asking myself this question lately. Who do I listen to and who's words do I most value? Unfortunately I don't really like the answer. Many times I desire the approval of people so much that I use very little discernment when I listen. I put certain people's voices higher on the value meter than others. I guess this would be good if I discerned to check the words of those voices with the WORD OF GOD. But many times I don't. Many times the words of others are valued more than the word of God. Ughh. I hear the voice of the critic louder, stronger and allow those words to go on repeat before the gentle words of God. This is the way that Satan deceives me. The perfectionist pleaser in me hears the words that press me to work harder, serve longer and idolize approval. God is inviting me to stand up and stand firm grounded in His word. The more I am nurturing the Christ-follower in me by enveloping myself in His word, the more grounded I become. And the easier it is to discern when the words I hear are from the "pit of Hell." Today we have a choice. We can walk in the promises of God and we can encourage others to do the same. Or we can give our ear to the whim of the critic which allows Satan to set up residence in our soul. God is waving to us. God is cheering for us. He is inviting me to climb under His wing of protection and listen to His promise of provision. "Like an eagle protecting its nest, hovering over its young, God spread out his wings, took hold of Israel, carried him on his back." Deuteronomy 32:11

The Elijah Project #3: What's Wrong with Me?

The Elijah Projects goal is to facilitate a process of soul searching so that we might rest. I have had many times in my life when I felt exhausted but I could not sleep. I felt worn out but I couldn't get my mind to stop racing. Elijah's story is thousands of years old and yet it still rings true. This week we are talking about shame. I Kings 17:18 breaks into the widow's story. After losing her precious son she asks: "What do you have against me, man of God? Did you come to remind me of my sin and kill my son?" This is a shame reaction. The widow falls prey to the universal question: "Am I being punished today for the wrong in my past?" It is nearly impossible to find rest when the tapes in our heads play on repeat... cataloging our wrong. This is Satan's trap. He takes our sin, mistakes, wrong and then deceives us to believe that that wrong is us, rather than a mistake. The truth of the gospel is that in Christ, we are FREE. We are responsible to deal with the consequences of our mistakes but when we ask for forgiveness Jesus throws our wrong as far as the east is from the west. Try something with me. Turn your neck to the left or right, whichever side has more mobility. Strain your neck to look between your shoulder blades. TRY REALLY HARD! Can you see that spot right between your shoulder blades about 1/2 way down your back. NO, unless you are a Cirque du Soleil gymnast you shouldn't be able to see that spot on your body! That is where God moves our wrong. He moves it so no matter how hard He might strain He can not see it. God didn't have to do that, He chose to give us a way to freedom. Satan uses shame to keep us trapped. He uses shame to attempt to name us, to identify us as being something wrong. For instance someone who tells a lie is a liar. God does not name us by our wrong. He sees us as "fearfully and wonderfully made in His image. Today... take a step toward the truth. Identify where you are feeling shamed. Invite God to reveal your true identity and your name. This is not easy. It takes a great deal of vulnerability. It requires us to be honest with what we have done wrong and take a courageous step to ask God to forgive us. God is our Protector and our Provider. In Him we find our strength. I encourage you to identify one of the many names for God to cling to today: Wonderful Counselor, Prince of Peace, Fisher of Men, Potter, Restorer, Alpha and Omega, King of Kings. For more work on this subject take a look at pages 15-18 of The Elijah Project Workbook.

The Elijah Project #2: The Brook Dries Up!

"There's an opportune time to do things, a right time for everything on the earth: A right time for birth and another for death." Ecclesiastes 3:1-2 MSG We meet Elijah in the Kerwith Valley being fed by ravens and drinking from the brook. Next the brook dries up and God gives Elijah direction where to go next. He promises to protect and provide for Elijah. I have a very difficult time letting go of things. I think I would have struggled with the brook dried up. I probably would have moved up stream to make sure the water was "really gone." My husband calls me a "finisher". I think I'm a fighter that won't let things die. I've just recently got better at letting things end. My desire to "please people" gets in the way of God's best sometimes. I find myself fighting so much to be liked, that I lose myself in the process. I am more aware of my tendency toward "people pleasing" than ever. My synapse gap between feeling like pleasing and doing what is right has narrowed. But I still find endings difficult. I particularly watch my self-awareness and boundaries evaporate when I am under increased stress. In section 2 of the Elijah Project we recommend completing the Holmes/Rahe stress test. This simple test can be accessed at: http://www.stress.org/holmes-rahe-stress-inventory It is important to recognize your stress level as it is a predictor of your emotional resilience. This session we are focusing on identifying what we need to "end". Webster defines endings as: "The part of an area that lies at the boundary. Or a point that marks the extent of something." People can become exhausted. God is the only all-powerful, eternal, in-exhaustible resource. Trusting in God as our Protector and Provider signals an end to our self-reliance. This is the first step as we evaluate where we are protecting and providing for ourselves and where we need to invite God to take over. Take a few minutes to evaluate what you are hanging on to. Identify what you need to end in your life today!

The Elijah Project: Who am I?

Last blog I shared that I am working through The Elijah Project in a group setting. The first activity is called: Who am I? We spent some very valuable time drawing pictures of how we felt. I very seldom spend time coloring. I've decided that coloring all by itself is cathartic. Below is a copy of my picture from last weeks group.

My daughter just looked over my shoulder and asked: "Mommy why does your doll picture have x's on the eyes?" Last week when I colored this picture I felt all kinds of different feelings. One of the valuable parts of doing self-care and introspective work is that we get to take a snap shot of what we are feeling at that moment in time. Our feelings very well may change the next moment - but it is a picture of what we are feeling then. Last week when I drew x's over my eyes it was because I genuinely felt that I could not see clearly. I knew that I was mis-perceiving the feelings, needs and even criticism those around me. *I also wrote squiggles out of my mouth. That was because I knew I had lost my governor. I was allowing things to flow out of my mouth with out checking it first. One of my symptoms of exhaustion is speaking before thinking. In fact if I was a better artist I would draw hands at my mouth grabbing my words and putting htem back in my mouth. *I drew red squiggles on my forehead because I had a headache. I still have a headache. Obviously identifying that I'm exhausted has not "fixed" it all yet. *I drew purple bands with an arrow to my shoulders because I hold all my tension in my shoulders and they were... ARE tight. *I drew a yellow outline around my figure because I honestly feel good about my choices over the past few months - even though I am tired, I feel I have lived life well! *I colored my arms and legs because I feel generally all over connected. *Finally I gave myself a proportional heart because my heart is definitely there. I feel it! I encourage you to take some time to draw a picture - a snap shot of how you are feeling TODAY!

The Elijah Project: Just Jump In!

The Elijah Project (My Protector, My Provider) is designed to meet the needs of people who tirelessly serve others. The Elijah Project provides resources for you, the precious caregiver to rest and renew your soul. Last Tuesday I began a journey with five individuals at New Day Yoga and Wellness, to exit the whirlwind called life and rest in God's arms. The group members were each seeking healing from different things. We had one thing in common. We agreed to slow down one evening a week for the next eight weeks and evaluate how we feel, what we think and where we want to go in our lives. When I returned home last Tuesday night, I felt relaxed and little less burdened. I felt hopeful. I also felt like I wanted to share the process with those who could not attend the group or the Live Hope Restored Gathering we are hosting at Green Lake Conference Center (February 15-16th). So, for the next eight weeks I am going to share a "read along". A time for you to stop, reflect and process where you are in life and where you are going. The best way to introduce the work is by sharing from heart to yours. Andrea's story: Last Tuesday night I was far from the expert on rest. I entered the room to facilitate group from one of the most exhausted places I have been in a long time. Over the past six months I had shared my home with 8-12 people at a time. I seriously set the table every night for an average of 10 people. It was messy, lovely, intense and heartwarming. Over the Holidays we had visits from my side of the family and Perry's side of the family. Again - messy, lovely, intense, and heartwarming. I wouldn't change a thing. During this time I finished writing my latest book: My Protector, My Provider. I prepared for our annual board gathering in Chicago. I also continued to be a wife, mother, sister, daughter, professional and friend. Sometimes I filled those roles well and sometimes poorly. But in order to be honest, I have to admit that I was emotionally exhausted. Pooped! I needed everything to stop. I needed to rest my head (both physically and mentally). I tell you all of this because I am not approaching this project as an expert. NO! Instead I am joining you as a co-laborer or journey-woman. I am excited to learn, grow and blossom by taking some time to identify - WHO I AM? today and WHO I WANT TO BE TOMORROW! So... download the workbook: www.touchedtwiceunited.org or purchase a book for $10 and plunge in! Just jump in!!!!

Presence is the Present

Brene Brown writes today that: "Story Matters!" It is true that our stories matter. The experiences of our life have value. This morning I watched the CNN Student News with my son. We watch the news every morning. This morning they did a tribute to the victims of SandyHook Elementary.

I began crying after five minutes of the broadcast. Every few minutes the screen would go black and show a name and age. My crying became weeping when the number 6 kept flashing on the screen. My son looked over at me and said : "Mom are you crying?" My crying was unmistakeable. And he awkwardly put his arm around my shoulder, trying to comfort me! All I could say was: "your sister is 6!"

My story matters, last Friday I walked to the bus stop to wait for my 6 year old, kindergarten student to get off the bus. She bounced down the bus steps and handed me her backpack just like every other school day afternoon. I hugged her with renewed appreciation that God had spared my daughter and given me another day with her and her another day to be 6! Thank you God ! My prayers are with the family and friends of those lost last Friday at the SandyHook tragedy!

The Power of Presence

Webster's Dictionary defines Presence as "existing or being present in a place." During the Holiday Season we often become preoccupied with shopping for the perfect gift. It is easy to become consumed with giving and getting presents. This year my husband and I have come face to face with the reality of this tough economy. We have limited resources to buy presents. Over Thanksgiving break, we talked and talked about how to "do" Christmas on our new budget. After lots of long walks and talks my husband suggested something revolutionary. He said: "Why don't we give the gift of presence." At first I thought his suggestion was cheesy. I "tried it on" by sharing the idea with our Elementary age girls. They were very invested in receiving "furby's" so they were not so happy about the gift of "presence." But as the weeks have gone by we have become more and more creative as a family. Now everyone is catching on to the idea. In fact... my husband said for the first time in our 15 years of marriage: "I love Christmas." We are giving the gift of presence. When we talk to each other... we look in one another's eyes. We turn off our cell phones and watch Christmas movies together. We instituted: The Christmas Angel. The Christmas angel is watching as we are secret angels to each other. This Christmas - our presence is the present.