Wisconsin has been gifted with an early spring. Yesterday my daughter had her first bike ride as a 5 year old in 2012. I walked while she rode and I observed a most interesting phenomena. When she would approach an on-coming biker or walker she would ring her bell incessantly. She would ring her bell right up onto the other person. The pedestrian would then need to veer out of her way. I ran to catch her and suggested that she needed to stay in her lane. Her response: "But Mom I rang my bell." This gave me an opportunity to bring a gentle lesson in proper bike riding etiquette.
This experience got me thinking. People sometimes run over others with their words. In Taledega Nights, Ricky Bobby prefaced his difficult conversations with "In all due respect." At one point there is a show down when the other character says: "You can't just start your sentence that way and say anything you want." In order to achieve intimacy with others, people need to feel safe. When we feel defensive we close up. Whether your goal is friendship, courting or sexual intimacy - safety and openness is the key.
Next time you ring your bell, don't run the other person over. Pay attention to body language, listen to your companion, and keep an open posture. Believe me, you will see success!
Tip: Watch where your hands are when you are talking to a friend, family member or spouse. When I am conscious of my hands, I then tip my palms up. This automatically puts me in a open posture. The results may amaze you!
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